Life is so hard being an adult. Especially if you're me, who's rather prone to making bad decisions in life. Today is not a good day. I went to Candy Depot to get $5 worth of chocolate peanut butter malt balls, chocolate-covered cookie dough, chocolate-covered brownie bites, and yogurt-covered raisins - all of which I finished in one sitting. And then I had four chocolate-covered strawberries. And then I drizzled (more like soaked) a banana with some Hershey's chocolate syrup... After all that chocolate I was still depressed. It sure didn't help that it is my "crying time of the month", if you know what I mean.
Rejection is a bitch. I finally know how you boys felt back in high school. Ugh. Doesn't it make you feel like killing the rejector? Send an army of zombies to their house? Record the whole thing and post it on youtube? No? Okay maybe it's just me. In my 22 years, I've never fully apprehended the meaning of "no" until recently. ĦEs terrible! Never have I felt so put down, so unappreciated, so worthless.. Its like my self-esteem just took a plunge into the deep sea and never came back. I started questioning my self-worth, my intelligence, my capabilities, my goals.. Have all you people been lying to me all my life?! Why is this growing up thing suddenly so hard?! Did I get stupid all of a sudden? Was everything I did not good enough? What more do you expect of me?! Arrrggghhh!!! *rips a Barbie doll's head off* **plop**
I have reasons to believe that I am not cut out to work hard. I am by no means a workaholic. I enjoy being pampered, and being waited upon. I like to do things on my own pace; I absolutely hate the idea of reporting to someone and working on someone else's schedule. If it makes me sound like a total spoilt brat, so be it. Snigger all you want of the girl who thinks she's a princess and expects money to fall onto her lap. I do, however, know for a fact that somewhere out there there is something that is meant for me to do. But of course, being stuck in this rut does not really help in the discovery of Chea Ean's Great Destiny.
What I have done can definitely be deemed suicidal. In an economically difficult time like this, with a more-than-inconvenient disadvantage of my status, with not-exactly-the-most-impressive qualifications, I have decided to venture out into the world of job seeking - along with 3,000,000 others in this country. I needed to peel out of the little bubble that I had been trapped in, and "never settle for the path of least resistance". (Yeah Lee Ann Womack's I Hope You Dance is currently the theme song of my life). So wish me luck, dear all, wish me all the strength in the world so that I will not crumble at every little rejection, and say a little prayer for all the cocoa beans that have died for me in this arduous journey.
