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Saturday, July 10, 2010
My birthday month's been pretty freakin awesome so far!
First of all, the most expensive birthday present I've ever gotten myself:
$1710 to buy me a whole month's worth of vacation back home! Mark the dates people July 28 - August 27.
Secondly, some Chapman soup:
I will begin my Master program in Food Science at Chapman University starting August 30, 2010. This will directly lead to the following occurrences:
- I will be moving away from San Diego (boo...) to Orange County
- I will no longer be making gels at Embi Tec
- I need to find an apartment at the OC asap
- I need to start packing (fuuuuuck)
- I will be a financially-challenged student once again
- I will have winter breaks and spring breaks and summer vacations once again haha!
A lot of changes in such a short period of time, but it's definitely a good thing. Change is exciting, especially since I've been feeling like I'm stuck in a rut for some time now. But right now, I am just going to enjoy my last two weeks here in San Diego... and then my absolutely-gonna-be-totally-freaking-awesome summer vacation back home. Rawr.
Posted at 03:49 pm by CheaN
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Wednesday, May 26, 2010
No, really, I would rather you not be honest
During a What The F*ck? game session last weekend (It's a real game! I'm not lying!), someone had this question:
"You are sitting in a public bus, and the person sitting right in front of you has head lice. Would you tell him about it?"
It was a no-brainer for me. Of course it's a straight up no. I would never, ever, in a thousand years, tell that person about his head lice. Everyone else's answers, however, were not unanimous.
The way I see it, there is completely no point in bringing up the issue. If he has head lice, I'm pretty sure he'd be the first one to know about it. And since he probably already knew about the problem he'd either be (a) on some kind of medication to fix it, or (b) too broke/couldn't be bothered to do anything about it. Think about it - what are you trying to achieve from telling him that? To publicly humiliate him? To make him even more self-conscious than he already was? To tell him off? To prove what a smart ass you are? I honestly don't see any positive outcome of it. It would have been another story altogether, say if he was making out with another person, then maybe I would consider telling.
Let's have a little questionnaire, shall we?
Would you tell a person if:
(a) (S)he has a piece of veggie stuck between his teeth
(b) (S)he is wearing mismatched socks
(c) (S)he has nasal hair sticking out of his nose
(d) (S)he repeatedly pronounces a word wrong
(e) (S)he stinks
(f) (S)he smeared her makeup
(g) (S)he has really bad acne
(h) (S)he is stupid
My answers:
(a) Yes. Because it is completely fixable
(b) No. Because I would not have a problem with that
(c) No. Because I wouldn't know how to phrase it
(d) Yes. Because it is completely fixable
(e) No. I might offer some perfume or gum for bad breath, but I really wouldn't say it outright
(f) Yes. Because it is completely fixable
(g) No. Same reasoning as the head lice issue
(h) No. Because society wouldn't allow me to
I suppose it all boils down to your personality when it comes to situations like that. Being the non-confrontational person that I am, I would almost always choose "flight" over "fight". This doesn't mean that I am a coward; it just means I prefer to deal with things on my own, and hopefully the issues would "go away" without causing much of a stir. Unfortunately for me, not everyone out there is like that. Every so often I would come across some idiot who would verbal-diarrhea all over me. Honestly dude, it's not like I asked for your opinion. Stop saying things that I don't want to hear. Stop questioning everything I do. So what if I'm being in denial? So what if I am making the wrong choices? It is none of your freaking business anyway. Leave me be, and let me live in my perfect little bubble. That is, until and unless I have a piece of veggie stuck between my teeth.
Posted at 09:14 pm by CheaN
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Friday, April 30, 2010
Once upon a time at a local Coffee Bean, my friend Andrew shared a story with me. It's one of the saddest stories I've ever read, he said, lemme know what you think.
Read it here!
So I started reading; the whole time he was sitting right in front of me, looking intently as if expecting me to burst into tears any minute now (The title of the story was "I Cried", btw).
Ten paragraphs later, I finished reading and I took a sip of my coffee. You call that sad? I asked. I can easily find twelve hundred sadder stories in a Reader's Digest or something! First of all, a summary for all of you who are too lazy to read the whole thing:
It is a story about the ugliest cat in the world. It was missing an eye, an ear, a foot, and its tail. It had sores and scars covering every inch of its body. Everyone who's looked at it would cringe at its mere ugliness. So one day, Ugly decided to befriend some neighborhood huskies. Okay I don't care if you don't know much about dogs, but huskies happen to be a pretty big/hunky/ferocious breed. And this idiot of a feline just thought it'd be a good idea to approach these dogs. Obviously Ugly was completely mauled by them and was left with nyawa-nyawa ikan. Poor thing, it's never been told that cats and dogs are not meant to be friends. This is when the author comes in. He or she ran down to the street from his/her apartment building, cradled Ugly in his/her arm, let it suckle his/her ear, and watched it die. Goodbye O Cruel World. The end.
Now for the golden question: Am I a cold-hearted bitch for not finding this sad at all? Is there some sort of heart-warming tear-jerking moral to be derived from this story that I didn't get? Sure, it's about a cat dying. Life sucks. Everyone dies. What else? Oh yeah, life sucks more for the uglier-looking ones. Every single day at every single city there would be an Ugly being robbed of its life.
Perhaps it's because I've never had any pets of my own. Or maybe it's because I've became so jaded and desensitized about things like these. But one thing I know is true: if you're a three-legged cat without a tail, don't ever go say hi to Huskies. Oh just for the record: if I were Ugly, I would have ended my own life a long time ago.
Posted at 06:46 pm by CheaN
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Tuesday, April 06, 2010
What is your coal in life?
During lunch today, the Big Boss asked, "Chea Ean, what is your goal in life?"
There I was, little old me, minding my own business (actually trying to scoop that last piece of penne out of my bowl), suddenly completely taken aback by such a loaded question. I blanked out for a second.
Goal in life. Hmmm. To live comfortably? To leave a legacy? To own an island? To have offspring without having to give birth?
All seemed a little too... inappropriate to share at work.
"To invent something." I blurted out stupidly.
Boss looked at me intently, probably half expecting a more intelligent answer and also expecting me to be more specific.
"You know, scientifically speaking, like a nutritional superpill or something." More blurting.
For some reason the Boss decided not to pursue the topic any further, and went on to interrogate some other poor soul.
For the rest of the day, I couldn't help thinking about that question. Sure, we've all got our goals in life, but how many of us are actually on the right track towards those goals? How many of us are actually going to achieve them in this lifetime? To be honest, I haven't thought about this in awhile. Life as a boring working adult sure isn't very motivating and inspiring. I am ashamed to admit that most of the life-involving decisions made by my brain recently are something along the lines of "Do I want Subway or Quizno's for lunch?" and "Oh shoot I spent too much last month. No more shopping this month".
I'd like to think that life is worth living just as long as you are happy. But then again, happiness is completely subjective. Some people are content being wives and mothers; some wants fame and fortune; some just wants to see the digits accumulate in the bank account.
Somewhere along life, people get distracted, people take up other people's burdens upon themselves, people make poor decisions based on their emotions, people fall in love and do stupid things... And these are what I call coals in life (you know, like Santa's coal?); things that will get in the way of your actual goals.
Now before I start sounding like a motivational speaker of some sort, I am going to sign off now. Give it some thought though: what are your goals (and coals) in life?
Posted at 08:36 pm by CheaN
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Thursday, April 01, 2010
I tried to hold back my laughter as he handed me a flimsy baby book. I had just told him to pick out a book to read from two of our enormous bookshelves, and he came up to me with this 8-page, a-line-a-page "book" meant for preschoolers.
"Alejandro!", I cried out, "That's way too easy for you! That's a baby book!"
"I know! But at least I can read it", he said with a sad smile.
I looked at him with the most serious face I could muster and said, "Alejandro. You can do so much better than this baby book. You are wayyyyy smarter than that. You just have to believe in yourself."
With great reluctance he finally picked a Level 2 Dr. Seuss book.
I've been tutoring this 9-year-old for about six weeks now, and it had been quite the journey for me. When I first met Alejandro, he was this timid little kid with messy brown hair and a pair of scratched up eye glasses he always misplace. I then found out he has a bit of a speech impediment and have not been doing very well in school.
Now, this is not one of those zero to hero stories, nor is it a heart-wrenching tale that'd make you go "Awwwh!". This is just me trying to pen down some thoughts that I've gathered throughout my volunteering work. This ymca literacy program that I am currently involved in allows kids to come in an hour a week to do their homework and also to cultivate their interest and understanding of the English language.
In all honesty, I have never been a very kid-friendly person. This is actually pretty strange since I am the eldest child in my family and I happen to be the nicest person in the world. But anyway, I have always been rather nervous around kids. Always felt like the slightest thing would make them cry/wail/throw tantrum/scream bloody murder. Never saw babies as itty-bitty bundles of joy with adorable tiny feet, either.
I've tutored maybe about five kids since I started the program, and it definitely helped lower my child-resistance a good deal. But Alejandro is just a total character on his own. It's been really frustrating trying to get him to concentrate on a book, or even to try to figure out a word. Sometimes he would just zone out and be completely unresponsive for about five minutes until I poke him at his sides. This kid has such severe self-esteem issues, I always wonder what made him that way. Granted he is not the brightest kid of the lot (even in 3rd grade he sometimes still have trouble differentiating "b" and "d"). Today I asked if he reads any books at home, he said no. I asked if any of his friends in school like to read, he said no. I asked if he wants to be smart and do well in school, he said no. And the saddest of all: I asked about his ambition, and he said he doesn't have one. I don't know if he was just too shy to tell me or what, but I was completely taken aback by his answer. Don't elementary school kids have like a dozen ambitions at any given time? I know I did! So my assignment for him this week was to go home and think about his ambition.
I don't know if I'll be able to make any difference in his life at all, but I sure hope someday somehow, someone would.
And now, a song called Alejandro by Lady Gaga:
" target="_self">Lady Gaga - Alejandro
Next week I'm going to tell him that there is a song with his name. Not sure if the lyric is appropriate at all, but oh well. It's not like you'll ever come across a song called Chea Ean. Boohoo.
Posted at 10:35 pm by CheaN
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Sunday, February 28, 2010
I finally received my Chinese New Year cookies mailed "melalui udara" (translation: via air mail) by mommy! Yay!
Clockwise from top left: Pineapple tarts!, cornflake/peanut cookies, almond brittle, chocolate chip/raisin cookies, kuih bangkit (is that what it's called? The white rabbit cookies?)
On a not-completely-unrelated note, I'm starting to find the Malay language very strange and foreign-sounding as of late. Perhaps it's influenced by the many years of my being away from the country, but recently whenever I think of my "national language", I can't help but snicker a little. Mind you, this is not meant to be an insulting post. In fact, Malay's been serving me very well especially when us Malaysians are trying to "communicate in secret", like:
"Ada budak putih yang teramat comel di belakang!"
Cute white guy behind you!
"Perempuan anjing betina"
B*tch
"Agak mahal kan. Jom kita pergi kedai lain"
This place looks expensive. Let's go somewhere else.
"Lelaki panas!!"
Hot guy!!
Lol.
For some reason I then started to think of Malay translation to English words just to amuse myself. Then I tried to remember all the nilai-nilai moral that we were forced to memorize for SPM (damn I kicked ass in that!) as well as all the kata kunci. If I were to pick out Malay grammar mistakes from any article, I'd do SO well in it (penghawa dingin vs. pendingin hawa; orang ramai vs. orang-orang; pisang goreng vs. goreng pisang; Boy do I have Pn. Khairiah to thank for this!). And then some words that I think just sounds plain funny:
Bertolak-ansur : Compromise
Latih-tubi : Practice
Bermuafakat : In agreement (right?)
Bertimbang rasa : Considerate
Matlamat : Goal
Bijaksana : Wise
Berkuatkuasa : Effective/in power
Hmmm. I wonder what's gonna happen when I'm forced to converse in Malay one of these days. Definitely gonna have it recorded.
Posted at 10:24 am by CheaN
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Saturday, February 13, 2010
Oh wait. Wrong holiday.
Anyhoo. It's Chinese New Year and I'm getting very bitter about people gloating over their glorious CNY celebrations. Yes I get it, you get to eat sleep play gossip all day for the next 15 days. You get ang pao money. You get to wear new clothes and shoes and underwear. You get to visit friends and family and extended friends and family. You get to attend ridiculous 9-course banquets in posh Chinese restaurants and stuff your face with food! glorious food. You get to go to the temple and act all pious. You get to play with fireworks and gamble your fortune away.
I got nuffin.
In fact, I gotta work on Monday too. Boohoo.
In addition to that, I am sick. Blocked nose, runny nose, cough... you know, the works. I can't even try to enjoy this weekend even if I wanted to.
It suddenly occurred to me that whatever Chinese traditions that my parents follow will probably be lost with me. It's not like I'd know what gods to pray to on what day at what hour. Or what type of food is "auspicious" and what isn't. This is the third year that I am away from home during Chinese New Year, and I am feeling the pinch even more so than ever. Perhaps it is because I don't have any fellow countrymen with me to celebrate it with. I have came to realize that there is no point celebrating a celebration when you are not with family. The entire significance of the holiday and all the wonderful memories that you've had together cease to matter. I thought about taking the day off from work on Monday, just because I don't wanna work on my new year. Then I remembered, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". What am I gonna do taking the day off? Do some bad driving and try to score some discounts at the 99¢ store? (Haha don't you just love stereotypes) I thought of making some Chinese New Year-ish food, and then I remembered, I don't know how to. Food is usually served right in your face; all you have to do is eat.
So on Sunday, I am going to make myself happy by being super Asian. I want to go to Clairemont Mesa and check out the Lion Dance at Jasmine Restaurant. Then eat some dim sum while we're at it. Then maybe go check out a Buddhist temple and pollute some air. Then take a lot of pictures with the super fobby "peace" sign. And maybe I will wear my cheong sam.
(Afterthought...) Maybe not.
Oh, and if I do get my hands on some ang pao money, I'm going to splurge on this:
Ray-Ban Aviator RB3025. Sickkkk.
It's already New Years Eve back home. Everyone's probably busy preparing for the most important dinner of the year. Wonder if my family is going to cook or eat out. Oh wells. Gong Xi Fa Cai everyone!
Posted at 01:05 am by CheaN
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Sunday, February 07, 2010
Geek up! (aka free advertising)
Posted at 06:48 pm by CheaN
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Saturday, February 06, 2010
Time for some religious duties?
Record-size jade Buddha statue arrives in Escondido
"The world's largest Buddha carved from gem-quality jade arrived Wednesday in Escondido to begin a two-week stay that includes a Sunday unveiling ceremony expected to attract up to 3,000 people.
At 4 tons and nearly 9 feet high, the sculpture is the largest Buddha ever carved from gem-quality dark-green nephrite jade, although a larger one is being carved in Vietnam from light-colored jadeite.
The Buddha will be displayed in the Phap Vuong Monastery, 715 Vista Ave., Escondido at all hours until Feb. 16, when it will be shipped to another monastery in Orlando, Florida."
The Jade Buddha for Universal Peace.
Definitely gonna go check it out one of these days.
Edit February 7, 2010:
After spending a lovely Sunday morning with the Ayass at Oceanside, I went on a little adventure by myself. Destination: Phap Vuong Monastery at Escondido for the unveiling ceremony of the Jade Buddha for Universal Peace.
Tour buses and cars parked almost 5 streets away from the temple
It's a festival yo!
People Mountain People Sea
Laughing Buddha
Lion dancers! And one yawning kid.
Buddhist colors!
Ref: People Mountain People Sea
Hey look! There is one white person! Or maybe just another Asian person with bleached blond hair.
Shrine for the Jade Buddha
Guan Yin
Unfortunately I did not stick around for the official unveiling ceremony. The crowd was so intense that even a not-particularly-claustrophobic like myself couldn't stand it. I felt so overwhelmed by the Asianness of it that I almost forgot I was still in the United States of America. Nevertheless it was a very comforting feeling, being in a Buddhist temple after such a long time, and actually doing something that is kinda related to my roots. Chinese New Year is just around the corner, after all! I definitely wouldn't mind going back to the Phap Vuong Monastery again sometime soon. Check out a short video that I took amidst the chaos; I almost had to choke back the tears when I heard the Metta Sutta being played in the background. Ah I miss home!
" target="_self">Phap Vuong Monastery 2/7/10
Posted at 04:45 pm by CheaN
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Friday, February 05, 2010
Last weekend I was suddenly inspired by Enigma's song Return to Innocence. Apart from the inaudible wailing in the beginning of the song, it actually has some pretty meaningful lyrics:
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Don't care what people say
Follow just your own way
Don't give up
To return to innocence.
If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Have you ever felt like you grew up too fast? Or were you one of those who can't wait to be a grown up and start doing adult things already? I would call myself a late-bloomer. You can't really blame me, having grown up in such a sheltered environment and all. Subang Jaya is a big bubble not unlike the city of Stepford in Stepford Wives. People who live there are strangely detached from the outside world, and the children who grew up there are surprisingly innocent and untainted by the world's evils. Or maybe it's just my family. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, and it's not like I turned out to be a social outcast or anything. (Oh just to clarify, Subang Jaya women are not made of robots programmed by men. And ha, I just ruined the movie for you)
Where was I? Oh Return to Innocence. "If you want, then laugh; if you must, then cry". How very profound. How often do you actually have the luxury of laughing and crying whenever you want to? How often do you get to do whatever you desire, without a care for the world? When was the last time you actually felt truly happy, that the world is such an awesome place to live in? Rhetorical questions, really. Innocence is lost. Gone forever. Life will only be downhill from now. Fuck.
Posted at 08:30 pm by CheaN
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 CheaNThe owner of this blog is Chea Ean - and I will give you a big big hug if you can say my name right.
I have hair too flat for my protruding forehead, front teeth too wide for my mouth, ears too flappy for my face, feet too big for an Asian girl, and probably a mind too fickle for my own good.
I am the girl by the window, and I might just be the most incoherent person you will ever meet. But yes, I have friends; if that's what you're wondering.
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